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Hansel & Gretel
Written by Adam G Smith
A modern take on this age-old fairy tale. Hansel & Gretel offers plenty of adventure, funny jokes and a variety of characters for actors to sink their teeth into.
Hansel & Gretel are tricked into entering the dark forest by the evil Witch Madam Hogweed and her loyal black cat Salazar. After noticing they are missing, their mother Mrs Dusterbrump recruits a team to go out and look for them including her lodger Silly Billy, the local law enforcer Sheriff Hard-up and the kind-hearted schoolteacher Lena. Along the way they bump into the vein Prince Fabulous and his loyal stooge Fritz. Together with a bit of assistance from the Fairy Foxglove they soon realise that the twins may not be lost but in fact have been taken.
This pantomime is certainly more unique than others, So if you want to do something that is a little bit different from the regular run of the mill panto stories, then this may just tick your box. Its sure to give your audience a sweet treat!
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Running Time - 1 Hour 40 Mins
Cast Size 12
Cast
Hansel – Mischievous young boy.
Gretel – Clever young girl who often gets led astray be Hansel
Mrs Dusterbrump – Dame Character and mother of Hansel & Gretel.
Silly Billy – Comedy Role, Helps at Mrs Dusterbrump’s Launderette.
Lena – Young School Teacher of the Village, falls in love with Prince Fabulous.
Prince Fabulous – An exceedingly narcissistic Prince who despite this flaw, has a kind heart.
Frtiz – The Prince’s loyal stooge.
Fairy Foxglove – A magical Fairy who looks out for Hansel & Gretel.
Madam Hogweed – An evil & cunning witch who wants to eat as many children as possible.
Salazar – A Black Cat and Madam Hogweed’s right hand man (well cat) .
Sherriff Hardup – Local lawman who has taken a fancy to Mrs Dusterbrump.
Mr Piftzr/ Tim Cauldron - Ensemble Characters.
Script
Sample
Prince F: Look Fritz, its a beautiful lady.
Fritz: (looking out the audience) – you’re clearly not looking at the same people as me then.
Prince F : No, look over there.
Lena: Oh, hello there!
Prince F: Fritz! Introduce me to this wonderful girl.
Fritz: (clearing throat and unravelling scroll) Miss allow me to introduce his most splendo…
Prince F: Its ok Fritz, actually allow me. Well, hello there beautiful, the name is Prince, Prince Fabulous (Strikes a smouldering pose)
Lena: Erm, Is he ok?
Fritz: Oh yea sometimes he gets stuck in his smouldering state (hits Prince Fabulous) Oi!
Prince F: Oh, sorry about that. I have to say you look as wonderful as your singing sounded, I love this shabby sheek look and you really own the whole dirt underneath the fingernail’s thing.
Lena: Oh my, sorry your highness but I have been out collecting flowers for the classroom.
Prince F: Classroom? (turns to Fritz) I know the common folk are not very well educated but surely they shouldn’t still be in school at this age?
Lena: Excuse me. I am a teacher.
Prince F: A Teacher? But you can’t be your…well they are normally…well not like this (gesturing at Lena)
Lena: Your majesty I find that rather sexist, us women can make just as good teachers as the men can.
Prince F: No I don’t mean that, I mean that you are surely too good looking to be a teacher. It is well known that all teachers are old and ugly.
Lena: Oh right, well thank you I guess. Anyway what is a prince like you doing out here such a long way from your castle?
Fritz: His majesty is out hunting.
Lena: Hunting? My word how exciting, are you hunting bear?
Prince F: No, I always keep my tights on.